{"id":1129,"date":"2012-04-16T07:22:24","date_gmt":"2012-04-16T14:22:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/new\/?p=1129"},"modified":"2012-04-26T00:59:32","modified_gmt":"2012-04-26T00:59:32","slug":"motivational-monday-is-it-real-or-just-your-ego","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/motivational-monday-is-it-real-or-just-your-ego\/","title":{"rendered":"Motivational Monday: Is it Real&#8211;or Just Your Ego?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" title=\"Stop\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/img_0794.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"184\" \/>I don&#8217;t feel so motivated myself today. I tweaked my left quadratus lumborum nine days ago and can barely touch my toes! During my darkest moments, I always reread this Anthony de Mello article. Today I share it with you and implore you to read it and then read it <em>again<\/em>. Don&#8217;t skim it. Inhale every word and then spend the rest of the day thinking about it. It <em>will <\/em>change you. I give you <em>Is it Real&#8211;or Just Your Ego<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Do you think I am going to help anybody? No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don&#8217;t expect me to be of help to anyone. Nor do I expect to damage anyone. If you are damaged, you did it; and if you are helped, you did it. You really did! You think people help you? They don&#8217;t. You think people support you? They don&#8217;t.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/577834_359297890773378_307946942575140_943891_208923979_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-1131\" title=\"577834_359297890773378_307946942575140_943891_208923979_n\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/577834_359297890773378_307946942575140_943891_208923979_n.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"224\" height=\"224\" \/><\/a>There was a woman in a therapy group I was conducting once. She was a religious sister. She said to me, &#8220;I don&#8217;t feel supported by my superior.&#8221; So I said, &#8220;What do you mean by that?&#8221; And she said, &#8220;Well, my superior, the provincial superior, never shows up at the novitiate where I am in charge, never. She never says a word of appreciation.&#8221; I said to her, &#8220;All right let&#8217;s do a little role playing. Pretend I know your provincial superior. In fact, pretend I know exactly what she thinks about you. So I say to you (acting the part of the provincial superior), &#8216;You know, Mary, the reason I don&#8217;t come to that place you&#8217;re in is because it is the one place in the province that is trouble-free, no problems. I know you&#8217;re in charge, so all is well.&#8217; How do you feel now?&#8221; She said, &#8220;I feel great.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/img_0790.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1132\" title=\"IMG_0790\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/img_0790.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>Then I said to her, &#8220;All right, would you mind leaving the room for a minute or two? This is part of the exercise.&#8221; So she did. While she was away, I said to the others in the therapy group, &#8220;I am still the provincial superior, O.K.? Mary out there is the worst novice director I have ever had in the whole history of the province. In fact, the reason I don&#8217;t go to the novitiate is because I can&#8217;t bear to see what she is up to. It&#8217;s simply awful. But if I tell her the truth, it&#8217;s only going to make those novices suffer all the more. We are getting somebody to take her place in a year or two; we are training someone. In the meantime I thought I would say those nice things to her to keep her going. What do you think of that?&#8221; They answered, &#8220;Well, it was really the only thing you could do under the circumstances.&#8221; Then I brought Mary back into the group and asked her if she still felt great. &#8220;Oh yes,&#8221; she said. Poor Mary! She thought she was being supported when she wasn&#8217;t. The point is that most of what we feel and think we conjure up for ourselves in our heads, including this business of being helped by people.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/img_0789.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1133\" title=\"IMG_0789\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/img_0789.jpg?w=214\" alt=\"\" width=\"214\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><strong>Do you think you help people because you are in love with them? Well, I&#8217;ve got news for you. You are never in love with anyone. You&#8217;re only in love with your prejudiced and hopeful idea of that person. Take a minute to think about that: You are never in love with anyone, you&#8217;re in love with your prejudiced idea of that person. Isn&#8217;t that how you fall out of love? Your idea changes, doesn&#8217;t it? &#8220;How could you let me down when I trusted you so much?&#8221; you say to someone. Did you really trust them? You never trusted anyone. Come off it! That&#8217;s part of society&#8217;s brainwashing. You never trust anyone. You only trust your judgment about that person. So what are you complaining about? The fact is that you don&#8217;t like to say, &#8220;My judgment was lousy.&#8221; That&#8217;s not very flattering to you, is it? So you prefer to say, &#8220;How could you have let me down?&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/580468_10150693745425617_51811895616_9520604_723181451_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-1138\" title=\"580468_10150693745425617_51811895616_9520604_723181451_n\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/580468_10150693745425617_51811895616_9520604_723181451_n.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>So there it is: People don&#8217;t really want to grow up, people don&#8217;t really want to change, people don&#8217;t really want to be happy. As someone so wisely said to me, &#8220;Don&#8217;t try to make them happy, you&#8217;ll only get in trouble. Don&#8217;t try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it irritates the pig.&#8221; Like the businessman who goes into a bar, sits down, and sees this fellow with a banana in his ear &#8211; a banana in his ear! And he thinks, &#8220;I wonder if I should mention that to him. No, it&#8217;s none of my business.&#8221; But the thought nags at him. So after having a drink or two, he says to the fellow, &#8220;Excuse me, ah, you&#8217;ve got a banana in your ear.&#8221; The fellow says, &#8220;What?&#8221; The businessman repeats, &#8220;You&#8217;ve got a banana in your ear. &#8221; Again the fellow says, &#8220;What was that?&#8221; &#8220;You&#8217;ve got a banana in your ear!&#8221; the businessman shouts. &#8220;Talk louder,&#8221; the fellow says, &#8220;I&#8217;ve got a banana in my ear!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/558171_10151453021085507_657835506_22979866_2031535005_n.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1135\" title=\"558171_10151453021085507_657835506_22979866_2031535005_n\" src=\"http:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/04\/558171_10151453021085507_657835506_22979866_2031535005_n.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"198\" \/><\/a>So it&#8217;s useless. &#8220;Give up, give up, give up,&#8221; I say to myself. Say your thing and get out of here. And if they profit, that&#8217;s fine, and if they don&#8217;t, too bad!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t feel so motivated myself today. I tweaked my left quadratus lumborum nine days ago and can barely touch my toes! During my darkest moments, I always reread this Anthony de Mello article. Today I share it with you and implore you to read it and then read it again. Don&#8217;t skim it. Inhale [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[143,383,384,385],"class_list":["post-1129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-motivational-monday","tag-anthony-de-mello","tag-novitiate","tag-recreation","tag-support-group"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1129"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1446,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions\/1446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/doubleeaglefitness.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}